Gentle readers, friends, and comrades,
The time has come. Shortcake is not returning to Santaland this year.
She always knew this day would come. When she started as an elf, she knew she would make it five years. Since then, she's been waiting to become too tired or bitter or disillusioned to continue. Or maybe she would receive a job offer that was just too good to turn down. It didn't happen, until now. Shortcake thought she would make it to year 10 - she was actively planning for it, as well as making theoretical plans for years 11-13.
It was not to be. Nine years was all she was meant to do. Three years as an elf and six years as a strawboss. As soon as Shortcake knew the strawboss position existed, she wanted it. She was born to be a strawboss. It was the perfect job. But now she's been offered something that's too good to turn down. Santa needs Shortcake to stay in Chicago this holiday season, bringing Christmas magic to children when they see Lookingglass Theatre's production of The Steadfast Tin Soldier. It also makes Puncake very happy to have Shortcake at home.
This will be a rough Christmas for Shortcake. She's spent every Christmas Eve with Santa since 2008.
Don't worry - Cider and Blissful will still be there to take care of Santa. And you can still e-mail Shortcake. She'll post here from time to time with Christmas tidbits and stories and photos.
Merry Christmas all, and to all a good night.
Tuesday, September 25, 2018
Thursday, December 28, 2017
Christmas!
Shortcake flew home to Chicago on Christmas Day (Santa was using the sleigh, doncha know). (We've been over this; Shortcake is stationed in Chicago to watch over the kids to see who's been naughty and nice. Not every elf goes back to the North Pole on Christmas Day.)
Merry Christmas from Chicago
And Chicago feels like the North Pole. It's a high of 10 degrees Fahrenheit here. This is how bundled Shortcake has to get when she leaves the house.
Anyway, Puncake picked Shortcake up at the airport and promptly took her to see Star Wars The Last Jedi. It was quite good. Shortcake recommends it.
Then Shortcake and Puncake headed home where Shortcake opened all her Christmas presents.
Look at those awesome Macy's pajama pants! (That Shortcake hemmed while watching Miracle on 34th Street.) Look at the awesome dinosaur Christmas sweater! Look at that High School Musical mug! Look at this zen garden and adorable bonsai tree!
Shortcake got other stuff too - like gloves and earrings and books and artwork and stuff. She's going to write her thank you notes today - because she was properly trained.
Don't worry, gentle readers, Shortcake got you some presents too.
This story made Shortcake cry. And Puncake introduced her to these songs: "Elf's Lament" and "What do you get a wookie for Christmas when he already owns a comb?" And this story made Shortcake giggle.
After Shortcake opened allllll her presents (it was a good year), she and Puncake drank hot chocolate while watching Elf.
Merry Christmas! See you in 2018!
Christmas Eve
As longtime readers of this blog know, Shortcake works Christmas Eve at Santaland. She opens, and then she stays until the end. This year was no different. Blissful came in at 7am, and Cider came in at 4pm. Shortcake strawbossed, and Blissful took care of everything else - reshoots, Breakfast with Santa, the Macy's give-away (Which was AWESOME this year. Pajama pants! Shortcake has been living in them.). Cider took care of an eeeeeepic Santa train at the end of the night.
It was a good day. It started with these post-its from Cider.
Blissful wore these awesome Christmas socks. Shortcake does not have Christmas socks, so she wore narwhal socks.
Fezziwig and Serafina had a dance off before we opened the Land. Dumpling lint rolled Santa's coat because he is a nice elf. The care he put into lint rolling Santa's hat was amazing.
Per usual, the white flowers wore hats and elfed up.
Check out the Star Wars scarf that Jubilee is wearing.
That's Dewdrop, Jubilee, Serafina, Nicole, Bon Bon and Shortcake.
And this is what happens when the white flowers walk out of the scheduling office to handle something. Elves end up in charge.
Someone came up with the idea of elf Olympics.
And then put Pringles in charge of judging it. And Icecap photobombed. Shortcake kept walking into Santa's house and finding elves making a ruckus.
Remember Krampus? He wasn't able to visit Santaland this year - and we sorely missed his bourban balls - that is not a euphemism - but he did call to say hello to Santa. Shortcake turned around to see Santa hanging up the phone and wiping tears from his eyes.
Of course, not everyone was in a good mood on Christmas Eve. There was one woman who recently had surgery on her knee and asked to be backdoored to see Santa, so she didn't have to stand in line. We accommodated her. Then she complained that she didn't get to see the maze. Shortcake tried to explain that the maze was the line, and if she wanted to see the maze then she needed to wait in line with everyone else. And the woman didn't get it and kept offering to show Shortcake her stitches. Shortcake could not make her understand that the injury was not the problem - we already accommodated that by taking her to see Santa. But if she didn't want to wait in line, then she missed the maze because the maze is the line. Finally Shortcake passed it up to a white flower because that was way above her paygrade.
In other news, there seemed to be fewer proposals this year than normal. Santa did have one proposal. The recently engaged couple started kissing on Santa's lap, and then forgot Santa was there. The bride-to-be apologized to Santa as the couple left.
Willie had a good visit with Santa. He's been asking for a Super Nintendo for years. He always brings it up and chastises Santa for not bringing it to him. So this year Little Star and Snowball and a lot of the elves got together to give Willie his Super Nintendo. When he opened it, he said "Oh, this is what I've been asking for."
That's Willie with ET and his trumpet with Santa, Bon Bon, Serafina, Little Star, Feliz Navidad and Snowball.
Willie unwrapping his present.
When Willie saw what his present was
Santa and the elves and ET - Willie didn't want to be in the photo, he wanted to take the photo
Ceci and Shortcake - Ceci kept trying to ruin Shortcake's life by sending her reshoots.
Rondel, the original Freeze Frame.
Cider uses this hammer when he leads tour groups. Actual conversation between Cider and Ruby as they headed home:
Ruby: Get your mallet and let's go home.
Cider: *under his breath* It's a hammer.
If you've been paying attention to the blog for the past, oh, ten years, then you know that Shortcake has been working at Santaland for nine out of those ten years. So the class of 2008 decided to commemorate the moment.
Shortcake and Pecan Pie, class of 2008
Fa La La is not a member of the class of 2008, but it feels like he is.
That's not everyone from the class of 2008, but it's a lot of us: Gingersnap, Teddy Bear, Tippy Toes, Estrella, Flurry, Cider and Shortcake
This is everyone who's been at Santaland for 10 years - 10 as reindeer antlers. We're adorable.
Okay, so. Shortcake wanted a photo with Cider and Blissful where they all wore their black Santaland jackets.
This turned into an epic photo shoot. Turns out, Santa really enjoys being a photo elf.
Santa's Angels
Facepalm
Santa said "act out a scenario"
And there was one more scenario, but Shortcake can't post the pictures in a public forum.
At the end of the day, Santa headed off on his trip around the world to deliver presents. Shortcake headed home, surprisingly still alert, and packed while watching Miracle on 34th Street - the best Christmas movie ever made, and, no, you cannot convince her otherwise.
It was a good day. It started with these post-its from Cider.
Blissful wore these awesome Christmas socks. Shortcake does not have Christmas socks, so she wore narwhal socks.
Fezziwig and Serafina had a dance off before we opened the Land. Dumpling lint rolled Santa's coat because he is a nice elf. The care he put into lint rolling Santa's hat was amazing.
Per usual, the white flowers wore hats and elfed up.
Check out the Star Wars scarf that Jubilee is wearing.
That's Dewdrop, Jubilee, Serafina, Nicole, Bon Bon and Shortcake.
And this is what happens when the white flowers walk out of the scheduling office to handle something. Elves end up in charge.
Someone came up with the idea of elf Olympics.
And then put Pringles in charge of judging it. And Icecap photobombed. Shortcake kept walking into Santa's house and finding elves making a ruckus.
Remember Krampus? He wasn't able to visit Santaland this year - and we sorely missed his bourban balls - that is not a euphemism - but he did call to say hello to Santa. Shortcake turned around to see Santa hanging up the phone and wiping tears from his eyes.
Of course, not everyone was in a good mood on Christmas Eve. There was one woman who recently had surgery on her knee and asked to be backdoored to see Santa, so she didn't have to stand in line. We accommodated her. Then she complained that she didn't get to see the maze. Shortcake tried to explain that the maze was the line, and if she wanted to see the maze then she needed to wait in line with everyone else. And the woman didn't get it and kept offering to show Shortcake her stitches. Shortcake could not make her understand that the injury was not the problem - we already accommodated that by taking her to see Santa. But if she didn't want to wait in line, then she missed the maze because the maze is the line. Finally Shortcake passed it up to a white flower because that was way above her paygrade.
In other news, there seemed to be fewer proposals this year than normal. Santa did have one proposal. The recently engaged couple started kissing on Santa's lap, and then forgot Santa was there. The bride-to-be apologized to Santa as the couple left.
Willie had a good visit with Santa. He's been asking for a Super Nintendo for years. He always brings it up and chastises Santa for not bringing it to him. So this year Little Star and Snowball and a lot of the elves got together to give Willie his Super Nintendo. When he opened it, he said "Oh, this is what I've been asking for."
That's Willie with ET and his trumpet with Santa, Bon Bon, Serafina, Little Star, Feliz Navidad and Snowball.
Willie unwrapping his present.
When Willie saw what his present was
Santa and the elves and ET - Willie didn't want to be in the photo, he wanted to take the photo
Ceci and Shortcake - Ceci kept trying to ruin Shortcake's life by sending her reshoots.
Rondel, the original Freeze Frame.
Cider uses this hammer when he leads tour groups. Actual conversation between Cider and Ruby as they headed home:
Ruby: Get your mallet and let's go home.
Cider: *under his breath* It's a hammer.
If you've been paying attention to the blog for the past, oh, ten years, then you know that Shortcake has been working at Santaland for nine out of those ten years. So the class of 2008 decided to commemorate the moment.
Shortcake and Pecan Pie, class of 2008
Fa La La is not a member of the class of 2008, but it feels like he is.
That's not everyone from the class of 2008, but it's a lot of us: Gingersnap, Teddy Bear, Tippy Toes, Estrella, Flurry, Cider and Shortcake
This is everyone who's been at Santaland for 10 years - 10 as reindeer antlers. We're adorable.
Okay, so. Shortcake wanted a photo with Cider and Blissful where they all wore their black Santaland jackets.
This turned into an epic photo shoot. Turns out, Santa really enjoys being a photo elf.
Santa's Angels
Facepalm
Santa said "act out a scenario"
And there was one more scenario, but Shortcake can't post the pictures in a public forum.
At the end of the day, Santa headed off on his trip around the world to deliver presents. Shortcake headed home, surprisingly still alert, and packed while watching Miracle on 34th Street - the best Christmas movie ever made, and, no, you cannot convince her otherwise.
Saturday, December 23, 2017
Dorkwad visit
Shortcake's brother, Dorkwad, came to visit. They went to see Santa.
Santa asked Dorkwad what he wanted for Christmas, and he said "more time with his sister." The photo elf did not capture the look of disbelief on Shortcake's face. Shortcake asked Dorkwad what he really wanted for Christmas. Dorkwad asked for beer. Shortcake asked for teleportation. Per usual. Santa still hasn't come through on the teleportation. Shortcake asks every year. Sigh.
Santa asked Dorkwad what he wanted for Christmas, and he said "more time with his sister." The photo elf did not capture the look of disbelief on Shortcake's face. Shortcake asked Dorkwad what he really wanted for Christmas. Dorkwad asked for beer. Shortcake asked for teleportation. Per usual. Santa still hasn't come through on the teleportation. Shortcake asks every year. Sigh.
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