Saturday, November 18, 2017

Preseason Part 2

Blissful and Shortcake and Cider got together today to go over some last minute things before training tomorrow.

Yes, Santa gets training every year.  Just a reminder how it works at Macy's instead of all the other places Santa spends time.

Today was elf training.  Cider, as President of the strawbosses, spoke to the elves about who we are, what we do, and the things they need to know.  Shortcake shared the sign language strawbosses use.  Blissful said important things.  All very exciting.

Speaking of exciting:

Shortcake got markers!  It's exactly what she asked for!  Fat markers in primary and secondary colors!  Think of all the signs she can make!

Also, Fruit and Cheese Day has been scheduled for Wed, Dec. 13.  Mark your calendars for ALL the fruit and cheese.

This is one of Shortcake's favorite things about the Herald Square Macy's: wooden escalators!

Cider and Shortcake bonded over Sports Night.  You don't know what Sports Night is?  Well, neither does Blissful.  But Cider and Shortcake do.  They exchanged three high fives because Shortcake not only knew what it was, but she owns it, as does her boyfriend.  (What?!  Yes!  Shortcake has a boyfriend.  His name is Puncake.  You'll meet him over Thanksgiving weekend.)  Cider immediately told Shortcake she was Jeremy.  She countered that she had always thought she was Natalie.  Cider then informed that if she wrote fanfic, she was Jeremy.  Shortcake had to concede that she had, in the past, written fanfic, and was therefore, probably, Jeremy.  Cider debated whether he was Dan or Casey.  He decided Blissful was Kim.  If this entire paragraph makes no sense to you, you should go watch Sports Night immediately.

Shortcake then declared if she was on Parks and Recreation she was Leslie Knope.  Cider agreed.  He claimed he was a mix of Ben Wyatt and Ron Swanson.  Shortcake claimed she was a mix of Leslie Knope and Jerry Gergich.  Blissful said she was a mix of Leslie Knope and April Ludgate.   

Blissful confessed she had only seen one Star Wars movie.  Cider asked which one.  She said the first one.  That is the correct answer. 

In related news, Dorkwad sent this to Shortcake today.

Tuesday, November 14, 2017


So every year all the elves and white flowers and strawbosses and Santa get together at Macy's and have an Orientation.

Santaland people are maybe the worst people to sit through a corporate orientation.  First of all, we've been through it multiple times.  This is Cider's tenth year.  Let's pause and consider that for a second, shall we?

Cider's been working for Santa for TEN YEARS.

Shortcake can hear you say "But Shortcake.  You and Cider started the same year."

Yes, yes we did.  Class of 2008.  BUT.  Remember when Shortcake couldn't be at Santaland in 2011?  Cider was an elf that year.  And then he and Shortcake started as Strawbosses together.  So.  It's Cider's tenth year.  It's Shortcake's ninth year.  It's Blissful's eighth year.  We're all very old and wise and cynical about Orientation.

But at least they serve hot chocolate and cookies.

Shortcake brought her clipboard to Orientation, and she felt very official.  She double-checked contact information for important people.  Again, this is why Cider is President, and Shortcake is Secretary.

Also, Snowdrop wore lots of bells - this is normal behavior for Snowdrop - but she got up in the middle of a presentation and jingle jangled her way to the trashcan and then jingle jangled her way back to her seat.  Santa giggled silently in his seat.  He was - as the kids say - slayed.

Orientation ended as it always does - with Santa reciting Twas the Night Before Christmas.  It's always charming and delightful.

Dumpling's already lounging on Santa's throne.

But no worries.  Santa's always watching.  As his flamingo.  Oh, you didn't think Santa had a flamingo?  Silly you.

2017 Preseason

Hello gentle readers,

Yes, it's true!  Shortcake is back!  She spent 2017 traveling around the country - what country, you ask?  Why the country of the United States of America.  She worked in San Diego and Baltimore and Indiana and Chicago.  She flew from St. Louis (Which, you are correct, was not listed in the above list.  Look, Shortcake went other places too.) to NYC for preseason (We've been over this.  Only Santa gets to use the sleigh.  Everyone else has to fly commercial airlines.) and ran into Whimsy in the airport!  All the elves are converging on Macy's Herald Square for the season.

Shortcake & Whimsy in the bathroom of LaGuardia airport.  Because even elves have to use the, ahem, facilities.

ANYWAY.  Cider, Blissful and Shortcake all met at Macy's bright and early Monday morning to do... stuff.  Conveniently, Shortcake had made a preseason checklist last season, and Cider expanded it to have something to reference for this season.  (Cider actually started his own checklist, and Shortcake just kept saying "I made one.  It's on Google Drive.  I shared it with you.  I made one.  It's on Google Drive.  You have access to it."  This is why Cider is the President of the strawbosses, and Shortcake is the Secretary.)  (Blissful is the Vice President.) 

New development this year: Strawbosses have a computer!  So exciting!  This year the binder, in which we keep all important strawboss things like the schedule and events and the calendar and contact info and stuff, is digital.  Okay, yes, we still have the actual binder, but most of the stuff is on the computer.  Which is also super helpful year after year.  This way if, for some reason, Shortcake decides not to return to Santaland (sometimes she misses the North Pole, you guys) Cider and Blissful will still have access to the paperwork - like the checklist!
Cider working hard at the computer

Cider working hard with Santa's water tubs in the background.  Yes, Santa drinks a lot of water.

Here's Shortcake working at the computer.  With the calendar in the background.  Shortcake made that calendar.  And then she let Cider put it together.  This was a big deal for her.  She was - what's the word - delegating.

Google celebrated the invention of the hole punch!  Shortcake was very excited.

And this is Shortcake working on the actual, non-digital binder.

Being a strawboss is hard work, you guys.

Patches, head of Santaland Herald Square, kindly provided seasonal mugs for the strawbosses.


Oh!  Exciting news!  Cider and Ruby had a baby elf!  His name is Shenanigans!
Ruby holding wee babe Shenanigans.  He's so tiny!

Who's ready for the season to begin?

Santa is!

Sunday, December 25, 2016


Shortcake barely slept last night, as she had to be up in the middle of the night to head to the airport.  (We've been over this.  Santa needed the sleigh for his big ride, and besides, Shortcake isn't allowed to drive the sleigh.  She has to use conventional means of air travel.)  Anyway, she made it, and arrived safe and sound home in Chicago.  Wearing two backpacks.  It's a family thing.

And once she got home, she opened her presents!

2 books and a game and a water bottle and snazzy jacket from Santaland and a DVD and a ukulele song book (thanks Santa!) and a 2017 calendar and a beautiful carved elephant.

Shortcake is spending her Christmas watching movies.  So far, she's seen Miracle on 34th Street, the best Christmas movie ever, and Christmas Belle - which is terrible, atrocious, don't watch it - and is currently watching A Christmas Kiss II - we only hope it can live up to the hype of the first.  And soon, she will see Rogue One and hopes to end the evening with Die Hard. Which she has never seen.  So many things to look forward to!

Photo Dump

Following is a collection of photos from the season that Shortcake wanted to put up, but didn't fit in a particular post.

A sign on the Subway.

Shortcake and Chuck!

Santa reading a scroll of Christmas wishes.

Pumpernickel elfed up.

Cider and Santa.

Latke and Krampus.

The official Buddy the elf photo.

Treetop and Cider.

Bro House: Little Star, Treetop, Jinglesnaps, Dumpling, and Santa.

Santa and Shortcake's prom photo.


After Shortcake left Santaland on Christmas Eve, she picked up a hot chocolate and walked 5th Avenue, looking at the window displays.  It was a lovely way to end the day.

She started with Macy's windows.

The Empire State Building was red and green for Christmas and blue and white for the first night of Hannukah.  Inclusion!

Shortcake loves the Lord & Taylor windows.  This year, the windows were okay, but the lights and greenery for the "enchanted forest" were the highlight.


Squirrels in greenery!

Nothing says Christmas Eve like lights and hot chocolate and selfies.

Saks Fifth Avenue windows!

New York is very serious about parking on 5th Avenue.

Rockefeller Plaza and the tree:

Tree selfie!

Weird sculpture selfie!

Some skyscraper that's lit up red and green:

Elie Tahari windows:

Shortcake just liked this spiral staircase.  Somewhere.

Barnes and Noble windows!

An octopus at Asics!

Shortcake just liked the spiral thinger with the flowers.

Tiffany's windows!

Close-up of one of the Tiffany windows.

The Harry Winston building

Shortcake liked the roses and dress.

There were coats spinning, along with wooden t-rex models.

Bergdorf Goodman windows!  Always the best:

Some perks about walking in NYC.  If you need to pee, you can find a hotel and use the lobby bathroom.  Shortcake was close to the Plaza, so she went in there.  And found this chandelier and Christmas tree.

And then, miracle of miracles!  Shortcake had the entire subway car to herself!