Winter Solstice

Tuesday, December 22 was a hard day for Shortcake.  It was another eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarly morning, but it wasn't quite as bad as the day before.  4am isn't quite so early when Shortcake goes to bed at 8pm.  8 hours of sleep is magical.

There was a lot of running around.  There were operational people observing how Santaland worked, so Shortcake explained the process of the Village and gave suggestions for making the backstage run more smoothly - like adding a utility sink, so Shortcake doesn't have to fill up water pitchers in the bathroom.  And then there were VIP visits and school groups and Santa forgot his glasses...  Oh, Shortcake sprinted on that one.

Someone at Santaland frustrated Shortcake.  It was a busy day, so lunches got shorter, and Shortcake spoke abruptly to some of the elves, and...  someone got cranky.  Shortcake doesn't remember doing anything particularly wrong, but...  Shortcake tried to rise above it.  Apparently, it still showed on her face, and Sprinkles gave her a hug.

Remember Figgy?

Momma Figgy and Mrs. Figgy came to visit Santa! Shortcake didn't have time to take a picture, but she did give them each a big hug.

Shortcake had to say goodbye to a lot of people, as she was not working Christmas Eve Eve and elves started to head back to the North Pole.  It was her last shift with Figgy and Licorice and Peppercorn.

Santa brought Shortcake roses.  They're so pretty!

Santa got a letter from Eva with a lovely drawing of a rainbow-winged pegasus unicorn.

Monday before Christmas

Monday, December 21 was an eaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarly morning for Shortcake.  She was up at 4am, so she could be at Macy's at 6am.  Santa gets exclusive use of the sleigh this time of year, so she had to take the subway, and the subway is not the fastest, most reliable form of transportation at 5am.

And there was no line.  Santa and the elves were so bored.  We opened at 7am, and almost no one showed up until 9am.

As Santa said when Shortcake went to check on him, "Everything that could have gone wrong... did not go wrong."

That is an excellent philosophy to have.

Santa brought in a chocolate nutcracker to share with the elves.  Ruby got to smash it to pieces, so it could be easily shared.  It was very satisfying to crush it under the weight of her mighty hand.

The rest of the day was okay.  It was the last time Shortcake got to see Freckles (the strawboss formerly known as Genie), so she gave her a biiiiiiiig hug and all the Christmas wishes.

Oh!  And Shortcake's friends from elf college visited!

Friday, December 18, aka The Day The World Lost Its Mind Over Star Wars

A sad thing happened this week.  One of Santa's colleagues, what we call a Man in Red, died.  He had worked with Santa for five years, and when he didn't show up last week, we feared the worst.  They told all the elves on Thursday.  Cider was kind enough to call Shortcake to let her know.  Shortcake made sure to give all of the elves (and managers) a big hug on Friday.

Around that sadness, Santa still had some good things happen.  He got into the Star Wars spirit, tweeting spoilers for the movie:


R2-D2 and C3PO ride a tonton off a cliff #StarWarsSpoilers

Luke's hand absorbs radiation, dies, says it was and always will be Luke's friend. #StarWarsSpoilers
Han tells Jabba the Hutt "no one puts Leia in a corner" (tks Shortcake!) #StarWarsSpoilers
MaceWindu quotes Ezekiel 25:17 to Jango Fett at gunpoint but lets him leave Diner. #StarWarsSpoilers

Luke angers the empire, wakes up with a Tonton head in his bed. #StarWarsSpoilers

There is no Han Solo. He's a product of Luke Skywalker's split personality. #StarWarsSpoillers

Han's ship is renamed Rosebud. #StarWarsSpoilers
#StarWarsSpoilers - the ghost of Obi Wan helps Luke shape a clay pot at a potters wheel from behind.

Chewbacca smothers lobotomized Hans Solo then tosses Sink thru window & runs away #StarWarsSpoilers

Yoda sees dead people -- realizes he's been dead the whole time. #StarWarsSpoilers
Princess Leia's crazy eyed baby is really the son of Satan, living at The Dakota #StarWarsSpoilers
C-3PO gets a heart, Chewbacca gets Courage, R2-D2 gets Brain, Leia gets new shoes & trip home #StarWarsSpoilers
Han Solo gets Leia home. Gets her pants off. She's secretly a man. #StarWarsSpoilers

Shortcake saw Fa La La (for, like, the first time all season), and they ran across the register room for a hug.  It was positively cinematic.

Someone proposed in front of Santa today!  It's the first one of the season, that Shortcake has heard about.  It was a man proposing to a woman (these things cannot be assumed), and she said yes.  Santa said it was the largest pink diamond he's ever seen.

And Cider and Ruby got married!  Well, sort of.  It was an unofficial ceremony, and Santa married them, elf to elf.  It was really quite lovely.

Lisa came to visit!

Jangles! Trinket!

We're up to Wednesday, December 16... Shortcake is catching up on her blogging.  Only two days behind!

Jangles worked!  Because he's crowd control, and Shortcake spends so much of her time in the Village, she doesn't get to see him much, even when he does work.  But they did get to snap this picture with Gingerbread.

And then, and then...  Joy of joys, Trinket came to visit!  YAY!

Peppercorn was having a rough day, and Shortcake was super sleepy by 2pm, so... they (and Gingersnap) had a dance party!  To this song.  Santa joined in for a bit.

And then, and then.  Krampus texted Shortcake to let her know he couldn't make it to an event.  This exchange happened:

KRAMPUS: I'm not going to make it back to go with Santa to Ronald Mc.  Please let him know.  Thanks. 

SHORTCAKE: Copy that.

SANTA: Your face is made of poop.  Poop.  Poop.  Boob poop.  Which is milk.  Boob poop.  Poop of the boob.

KRAMPUS: I know.  I'm sorry.

So Many Things Happened!

So many things happened on Tuesday, December 15!

Everyone had a cold.  Elves, Santa, Shortcake...  Sniffles and coughs and fevers abounded.

Shortcake wrote and mailed her letter to Santa.

Look at this watercolor a boy made for Santa!

We had school groups up the wazoo, so Santa was very busy all day.  He still had time to compliment Shortcake on her technical skills.  (Shortcake thinks this means that she is very good at Tetris.  This is a fact.  Shortcake is quite good at Tetris.)  

Santa had a bro house, featuring Little Star, Jinglesnaps and Dumpling.  Shortcake still has no answer to the question "What is the difference between a bro, a brah, and a bruh?"

Krampus sang "Oh where is my hairbrush" into the walkie after Shortcake turned a hairbrush into the Lost and Found.

Santa and Shortcake had a dance party in the middle of the day.

Dumpling was Shortcake's favorite elf because he got her hot water for tea.  Jinglesnaps was all jealous, but Shortcake pointed out he could be her favorite elf on the next day.

Santa told a story of how, when he was a wee lad of sixteen, he wove a scarf out of sheepdog hair.  He took the hair, spun it into yarn, and then wove a scarf.  Santa is a multi-faceted man.

Shortcake had Santa's help taking a Buzzfeed quiz, deciding which companion to the Doctor she would be.  Santa thought she would get Clara.  Shortcake thought she would get Donna.  She got Clara.  

And then Santa had Shortcake take a quiz that he made up on the spot.  And he told her that the Strawboss she would be was... Cider.  She asked what answers she would have to give to get Freckles (Genie, from here on out, shall be referred to as Freckles).  Or even, perhaps, Shortcake.  Santa said nothing.  She was going to get Cider.

Plates and Rock Lobsters

Monday, December 14 did not have an auspicious start.  Shortcake was just about to eat her delicious breakfast when the plate fell.  On her foot.  Breakfast went everywhere.  Luckily, the plate did not break.  Neither did Shortcake's foot.  The breakfast was... unsalvageable.  So, not only did Shortcake have a bruised and swollen foot, but she had to remake her breakfast.

The bruise got purpler as the day went on.

Perhaps because of the foot, perhaps because it was Monday, perhaps because Shortcake was short of seep (as usual), Shortcake was quite sassy that Monday.  She still managed to have a dance party with Biscuits, and she hugged Jangles and Snowball (for the first time all season!).  At the end of the day, she hugged Santa, and they both leaned on each other so heavily, they started melting towards the ground in a big pile of hug.  So, be not afraid, gentle readers, Santa gets his sass in too.  Sometimes Shortcake has to stay sassy just to hold her own.

Afterwards, Shortcake headed off to have dinner with her friends at the (very fancy) Plaza.  It's a holiday tradition.  She was early, so she looked at the Bergdorf Goodman windows, which are always excellent.  These are her two favorites this year:

      

When she arrived at the Plaza, she saw a sign.

If only she hadn't just come from working with him...

Shortcake had dinner with friends, and, while there, she colored in the turtle on the kids menu.  Because they don't let you color on the adults menu.  And the Plaza does not stint on their crayons.  These were brand-new, never-used, Crayola crayons.  This is the good stuff.

Rock Lobsters!

Penguins on the subway!

Fruit & Cheese Day!

Last Friday, December 11, was Fruit and Cheese Day!

You may remember this tradition from years past.  In an effort to counteract the amount of cookies and chocolate that Shortcake eats, she designates one day as Fruit and Cheese day and brings in... Fruit and Cheese.

This year was a rousing success.  Santa had been stocking up for weeks.  Shortcake brought in the smoked gouda, and a smaller tray of French cheese and dried fruit.  Santa brought in pineapple and melon and crackers and a cheese tray, and Peppercorn brought in pineapple and berries.  Everything was delicious (Especially the smoked gouda.  And the cranberry goat cheese!  Every day should include goat cheese.  Nothing is quite so decadent as chevre.).

Unfortunately, it was very hot in Macy's.  With global warming being what it is, and 60 degrees days in December, and Macy's being a very old building with steam heat...  It can be hard for the building to adjust, and thus, Santa was very, very warm.  Peppercorn had the brilliant idea of bringing him ice packs, so he could put them on his neck to cool down between visits.

Santa had an interesting visit with a baby.  The baby wouldn't smile or look at the camera, so his parents gave him a snack.  The snack fell on the ground, and the baby looked down to stare at the snack.  So, Santa says "give me a snack" and Santa holds it out, then throws it towards the camera onto the ground.  Unfortunately, the baby did not follow the snack, or look at the camera.  Instead, the baby looked at Santa like "What?!  Why would you do that?!"  Santa, Sprinkles, and the parents all started laughing uproariously.

Peppercorn also brought her ukulele in!  Shortcake still has her ukulele (although she hasn't learned to play it well in two years), but she hasn't brought it in yet this year.  So she was very excited when Peppercorn brought hers in.