Christmas Day

Merry Christmas ya'all!

Here's what Shortcake got:

That's a lovely journal from her friend, a poster from her brother and a bag from Macy's (as a thank you for the season).

Shortcake recorded this as a Christmas wish to her friends and family.  If you would prefer a professional version, here's Cee Lo Green's version or Kelly Clarkson's. 

Shortcake slept in.  She refused to set an alarm, so she woke up when she was ready to.  Then she watched tv, went to dinner with a friend, went home and watched more tv and went to bed early.  It was a well deserved rest day. 

To close out the season, here's some extra tidbits.

Santa sent Shortcake this David Sedaris essay.  It's hilarious. Another friend sent this song to Shortcake.  It's his favorite Christmas song.  It's kinda great.  Here's some short bits featuring Christmas characters - it's from the tumblr Fairy Tales for Twenty-Somethings, which is one of Shortcake's favorite things on the internet.

Until next season!  Shortcake is going to take another nap now.

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve was a looooooooong day.  Filled with magic, but still.  Shortcake was up at 4:30am, working at 6am, off work at 6:45pm, and home at 12:30am after a lovely Christmas Eve dinner in Brooklyn with friends.  Shortcake is, perhaps, getting too old to be awake for 20 hours straight.

It was another super busy day, and, again, we were short-staffed.  It was another day where Shortcake sat down for about 45 minutes total.  Kwanzaa Hut was up and running all day, which was very exciting.  Shortcake took two NYPD officers on a tour of Santaland.  They met Santa, then they stayed at the exit, helping us close the line promptly at 4pm. 

A child gave Santa a picture. 

Shortcake liked it so much, she asked Santa if she could have it.  He said yes.  It's modern art on a post it.

General Krampus was around, scheduling the elf troops.

Shortcake may have stolen his helmet.

It was so busy that Shortcake walked into one of Santa's visits.  She thought he was alone, so she stepped in, clapped her hands, saw the family, turned around and walked right back out.  Santa laughed and laughed at her.

Pip went up to get a family from the gatekeeper, and Teddy Bear came up behind him, said his name, and ushered them away.  Teddy Bear stole that family right out from under Pip and didn't even realize it.  Shortcake laughed and laughed.

At the end of the day, the elves were a bit tired.

Shortcake escorted Santa on his last walk, up to the roof to the sleigh, and he flew back to the North Pole to start his trip around the world.

In Praise of Elves

It may be called Santaland, but elves make it run.  We cannot function without good elves.  A good elf makes your life better, and your job easy, and everything goes smoothly.  An elf that could use some constructive criticism slows everything down and ruins your life.  There's a part of Shortcake's job where she relies heavily upon the elves.  It's like playing Tetris.  Except that Shortcake isn't the one playing Tetris (which, by the way, she's quite good at).  Shortcake is telling the elves how to play Tetris.  And some of them get it, and know exactly how to position the pieces.  And some of them don't, and she's left saying "No, put the long piece over there.  Over there!"  Sigh.  "No, it's fine.  We can live with that.  No, turn the zigzag piece.  Turn it!  NOW!  Oh, there it went.  Okay, fine.  We'll fix it later."  It's mildly frustrating.  And all Shortcake can do it position the elves as best as possible, and hope they figure it out.

We had a bumper crop of new elves this year - definitely the best year since Shortcake started.  And so, Shortcake presents to you a photo gallery of lovely elves.

Let's start with Waffles.

 

Waffles and Shortcake were still working out how to do a proper elfie.

 Teddy Bear, Gingerbread and Squeak with Santa.

 A Sprout and Shortcake elfie.

 The Gruesome Twosome with Shortcake (Sprinkles & Spritz)

(Seriously, Santaland cannot run without these two.)

 Shortcake & Squeak (still working on the elfie technique)

Clearly, Shortcake has not mastered the elfie, as she and Pip are quite fuzzy.

Trinket, Pip and Sprout with Santa

Santa in the news

Hey parents, maybe you want to read this, and look at all the videos, before you let your kids read it.  Use your own judgment.  Consider yourself warned.

Remember when Shortcake told you about the reporter who came in to visit Santa?

Well, the story broke.  Here's the blog where it's originally found.  According to everyone at Santaland, the best part of the video is Shortcake's face at the end.  In this Buzzfeed article, Shortcake is highlighted as an "official looking woman."  Who knew Shortcake was "official looking?"  She doesn't even wear a suit!

Then CNN picked up the story.

Needless to say, Santaland was even busier than usual on Christmas Eve.  Or rather, we were the same amount of busy, with an added twist that Kwanzaa Hut was in action all day.

So, how does Shortcake feel about all this?  Well, she's happy people are coming to see Santa.  And she's a little cranky that news organizations seem to be turning it into a segregation thing.  And that the reporters are ruining the magic.  It's hard enough to do what we do at Macy's, without ruining Christmas, and Santa Claus is the one person adults can come to without any religious affiliation and ask for help.  Santaland turns into a secular confessional, and it is very special.  Shortcake wishes the reporters would respect that.

Christmas Eve Eve

Christmas Eve Eve started very early.  Shortcake had to be at Macy's at 6am, so Santa could start seeing people at 7am.  The line exploded around 9:28am - right on time.  But we were short-staffed, so when the line exploded, it exploded.  We went up to a four hour wait, then got it back down to a 3 hour wait where it stayed until Shortcake left. 

We were so busy that elves were going five or six hours without a break.  Dewdrop left her house in tears because it had been five hours, and she felt faint and needed to eat.  Shortcake sent her back to scheduling, and had the Santa elf cover Photo.  Shortcake herself forgot to eat.  Santa and Spatula kept checking on her to make sure she drank water and ate.  If Shortcake had a break, she'd sit down for five minutes, then remember to take a bite, then get up and go back to work.  It got so bad that the next day, Santa brought Shortcake a water bottle. 

The most mortifying thing happened in the morning - Shortcake forgot Santa.  He sat for 30 minutes, waiting for Shortcake to come get him.  She's never done that before.  The worst part was, he was only remembered because Sprinkles went looking for Spritz who was with Santa.  Spatula said the look on Shortcake's face when she realized was priceless.  Shortcake was horrified at herself and apologized profusely to Santa.  Luckily, he understood, but, oh, Shortcake was disappointed in herself.

When some relief arrived, ie, more people showed up to give the early morning people breaks, Shortcake did leaps down the hallway and through the Santa room.  Leaps.  That's how excited she was.

Good stuff happened on Christmas Eve Eve too.  Shortcake's friends Lori & Drew came to visit Santa.  Drew was making a Christmas video for his family.  It's rather charming - check it out.  Krampus made bourbon balls; Santa and Spatula tried to convince Shortcake the bourbon balls were like her mushrooms to Mario.  You know, the power food that makes Mario super strong.  Shortcake had one.  And it was quite strong.

At Shortcake's other job, it Secret Santa reveal day.  She got pens (purple!) and a book about running (which is excellent, and Shortcake highly recommends it). 

It was Cider's last day.  When he arrived, Shortcake ran across the room and hugged him.  She finally knew what working the weekends were like.  Shortcake cannot praise Cider enough - they're like the power team of strawbosses.  If Shortcake could be teamed with Cider all the time, they could probably take over the world.  But alas.  The season, and their partnership, was over.  Until next year. 

Shortcake has not forgotten Genie.  She's the third leg of the strawboss triumvirate.  Shortcake didn't get a picture with her before she left, but Genie left a lovely Christmas card for Shortcake wishing her a Merry Christmas.

Red Friday

Shortcake decided that since the Friday before Christmas could not be Black Friday, since that is the Friday after Thanksgiving, she would call it Red Friday.  Which is more Christmasy.  And has "Game of Thrones" overtones that amuse her.

It wasn't as busy as it could have been.  The village was rocking it the whole day, so the line only went into Parade Hallway once or twice.  And then came back out.  Which is awesome.  In order to make that happen, Shortcake had to run like the village like we usually run it on Saturdays and Sundays.  Which she's never done before.  And she did it well.  Be proud of her.  One of the managers gave her an "efficiency" pin.

There is an emergency exit in the village which has an alarm.  It has never been opened in Shortcake's experience.  Until today.  A child pushed it open.  And an alarm went off.  An extremely loud, persistent, never ending alarm.  It went for at least 5 minutes, until a manager was able to get the key to turn it off.  And afterwards there was applause and glee in the Village.

It was Peppercorn and Shortcake's last day together. 

 

And here's Shortcake and Santa:

Hot Mess Thursday

Santaland was a hot mess Thursday morning.  HOT.  MESS.

Santa had an event, and there were school groups, and Shortcake can't quite describe everything that went wrong, but she definitely never stopped moving.  (Shortcake should really wear a pedometer one of these days to figure out how far she walks in a normal shift.)  We were short on elves, so we had one elf doing two people's jobs all over the village.

Santa tripped on his way to an event.  He stepped on a broom, and it rolled underneath his foot.  He lost his balance and started to fall into some coatracks, but luckily, Spritz was there and she caught him on his harness.  Santa's fine now, and Shortcake gave Spritz a "safety" button.

Shortcake was going in to visit Santa, so she went through the backdoor, said  "Hi" and Pip screamed and jumped back.  It was hilarious.  Okay, the story loses a little in the telling, but Santa about fell off his chair from laughing.

Perhaps you have heard about Megyn Kelly claiming Santa is white.  The gist is that Ms. Kelly claimed, on air, on Fox News, that Santa is white.  This sent the internet into a tizzy.  And so a reporter from the Daily News tried to get an answer from Macy's.  Macy's PR just kept saying "We have one Santa."  And the boss' boss gave Shortcake a heads up that a reporter might be coming in to see Santa and ask him weird questions.  And then it actually happened.  There was an adult couple, man and woman, who asked to see Santa, so Shortcake brought them to him.  The woman sat on Santa's lap, and the man knelt in the middle of the house (in front of Santa's camera) filming.  The woman asked questions like "Is there a white Santa or a black Santa?"  Santa replied "There's just me.  I am Santa."  The woman asked "I had to say I wanted to see special Santa to see you."  Santa replied "That's because you're special."  The woman asked "How long have you been here?"  Santa said "Since 1862."  By this point, Shortcake was suspicious and called for a manager, who interrupted the visit.  Thank goodness the boss gave Shortcake the heads up, and thank goodness Shortcake was hovering during that visit.  She doesn't usually hover.  Santa handled it like a champ. 

At the end of the day, Trinket gave Shortcake an Elfin Awesomeness Recognition Systems (E.A.R.S).

Shortcake received it for "being a veritable tour de force all the time!  Stupendousasticifferous!"