Wacky Wednesday

Remember how Shortcake was bored on Tuesday and during the day it was easy?  Yeah, then Cider came in, and he didn't get to leave until almost midnight.  Because they increased capacity for reservations, but didn't tell the strawbosses to staff up for it.  Nor did we have the elves for it.  Almost. Midnight, people.

Shortcake came in on Wednesday, and Blissful was having a day.  There were many school groups in the morning, so they turned the reservation room into a throne room, so Santa could see 90 kids at a time?  Shortcake is unclear on the why of this, and Blissful seemed unconvinced that it helped, and Shortcake thinks it sounds like Santa was the Emporer in Return of the Jedi, but, you know, she wasn't there, so cool.

The first thing that happened is that Cider and Ruby came in with Shenanigans for their family photo with Santa.


Shenanigans also took this photo with Santa:


But the real winner is this photo:


Shortcake got to hold wee baby Shenanigans for a a few minutes.  He was okay with it, until he started fussing, and then Shortcake gave him back to Cider.  She did not get a good picture, so just imagine Shortcake holding an adorable wee tiny baby.

Cider did some ushering while he was elfed up.


And Blissful elfed up too.


No lie, Shortcake felt a little left out that she was not invited to elf up.

Wanna hear about how inspirational Blissful is?   She strawbossed all morning, then photo elfed for two hours, then taught a class.  And here's the impressive part: she did all of this while passing a kidney stone.  Blissful has had a kidney stone for months.  She takes painkillers when she can, but sometimes, like Wednesday, she can't, because the painkillers limit her ability to function and think.  So she spent the entire day in pain and worked through it.

You know how Shortcake did not pee on Monday?  Well, she was determined to pee on Wednesday.  Except the line was in Parade hallway, so Shortcake couldn't use the women's bathroom, and there was a man pooping in the bathroom and he took foreeeeeeeeever.  Shortcake gave up.  And then the line got out of Parade hallway in the next hour, so Shortcake ran to the bathroom.  The white flowers cheered her on.  Peppercorn also made sure Shortcake ate dinner.

It was a busy night.  There were reshoots up the wazoo.  Every time Shortcake turned around, there was a reshoot.  BUT.  We were properly staffed.  So we closed the line at 9:06pm, and the last family entered the village at 9:15pm.  Wabam.  Unfortunately, one of the last visits was a rambunctious group of 19.  Turducken was photoing, and he had to raise his voice to gain control of the house.  The group took a long time in the house.  Shortcake told Freeze Frame they were not allowed to have a reshoot.  And the group would not leave.  They just stayed in the register area, far longer than they should have.

This is who Storybook felt about it.


Shortcake sent Peppercorn home after the village closed.  Shortcake stayed late to work on updating the strawboss log and scheduling stuff. She knew Peppercorn had to be at Santaland at 7am on Thursday, whereas Shortcake didn't have to be at work until 9am.

In other news, Puncake made this graham cracker house of cards, complete with a "suite of sweets."

Tuesday Dec. 19th

Tuesday was the Tuesday before Christmas.  So, of course, it was busy.  And school groups showed up.  There was a school group of 220.  Shortcake laughed out loud when she heard that number.

Santa and Periwinkle came up with the Mason scale of cuteness.  Mason was about 1 1/2 years old and visited Santa.  He loved it so much he didn't want to leave.  Santa and Periwinkle agreed he was the cutest child they had ever seen - a perfect 10 of cuteness.  So that's Mason.  Most kids are about a 4 or 5 on the Mason scale.  Sometimes Santa gets a 7 or 8.

They told me about another visit where the mom was fussing over the boy, and he said "Mom, you're being so extra right now."  Periwinkle about fell over laughing, but Shortcake didn't understand because she is not hip to the current slang.  Periwinkle and Santa had to explain it to her.  Urban Dictionary is here to explain it to you.

Santa had another visit where the big kid had the whole thing on Facebook Live.  Yay social media?

So even though Santa was super busy, Shortcake was not.  At about 2pm, she just started walking around the Santa room going "I am so boooooored."  This may also have coincided with when the caffeine wore off.

Monday Dec. 18

Monday was a busy day.  How busy?  Well, Shortcake didn't pee from the time she entered Macy's until she left Macy's.  That's about 8 1/2 hours, peoples.  You know what's worse?  She didn't have to pee for that 8 1/2 hours.  That's called dehydration people.  It is not your friend.

Why was it busy?  Well, it was the Monday before Christmas.  Management increased capacity to the reservations, but didn't tell us, so we weren't properly staffed.  So we were trying to meet weekend demand with a weekday staff.  HAHAHAHAHAHA.  Also, the photo elves were not as, hrm, how to put this, bossy as they needed to be.  And that long line led to people being very, very angry at the front line.  Many elves were cursed out.  It was not pretty.

You know what else wasn't pretty?  The vomit on the floor in Santa's house.  Shortcake got called in, saw the vomit (luckily, most of it landed on the dad's shirt), called for housekeeping, went to get paper towels, came back, wiped it up, and let Housekeeping mop it up.

Oh, and Santa was busy because this article ran in the post, and this video hit Facebook.  While Shortcake is glad Santa is getting lots of visitors, the nature of the post and article annoy her.  Santa is not hidden in the back.  He's right where he needs to be.

Dewdrop was frustrated because she found a six year old who was sent on a mission, unaccompanied.  Dad was waiting in line, so the child was sent to try on coats with mom.  But the child couldn't find Mom because he was six.  Dewdrop tried to tell the mom that she couldn't take the coats into Santaland, and the mom snapped "We're fine."  Dewdrop tried to tell the mom that she needed to rejoin her husband before he entered the train, and the mom snapped "We're fine."  So Dewdrop walked away.

Remember Chuckles from years ago?  He used to be a white flower.  He visited Santa on his son's fifth birthday.


One girl, Sophia, left her visit from Santa crying that she saw a fake eyebrow and that wasn't really Santa.  Oh, she cried and cried.  Shortcake took her back to see Santa and Sophia warned Shortcake that "I'm very smart and I can tell what's real and what's fake."  She said that.  Treetop witnessed it.

Santa's real, ya'all.  Sophia learned firsthand.

These ballerinas visited Santa.


Santa had some special guests.



Check out the book they brought him.


Check out this amazing shirt.


Check out this card that Santa got.

Yeah, that's a zombie/vampire/terrifying Statue of Liberty.


And it's signed "Mavrick."

That's not terrifying at all.

In good news, Lollipop said Shortcake was doing a good job.  That's great, 'cause she stopped speaking English about an hour into her shift.  Shortcake forgot how to use her words to form sentences.

Yule Ball!

Guess what Shortcake did on Saturday night?

She went to a YULE BALL.  You know, like in Harry Potter.

This is not her first Yule Ball.  She's been to many before.  She's been following the headliners, Harry and the Potters, since she was in college.  

This year the line up was Kwikspell, Draco and the Malfoys, The Potter Puppet Pals, Lauren Fairweather, The Moaning Myrtles, and Harry and the Potters.

It was AWESOME.

Here's Shortcake with Harry and the Potters in the background.

Sunday Funday

It was the last Sunday before Christmas Eve.  Needless to say, Santa was a little busy.  Shortcake had to be at Macy's at 7am.  When she walked in the door at 6:58am, Santa was already there.  And he had energy.  Shortcake was not prepared for Santa's energy at 7am.  Peppercorn arrived at 7:15am and looked like death.  She had about 2 hours of sleep, and did not feel well at all.  She was not prepared for Santa's energy at 7:15am.

Peppercorn and Shortcake might have put together a plan to kill Santa and hide the bodies on the 9th floor on a couch where he would just look like a man sitting on a couch.  Puncake offered to supply an alibi.  Peppercorn pointed out someone would notice if Santa went missing.  Curses!  Foiled again!

We had lots of treats today.  Mrs. Claus brought donuts, and Santa brought seven-layer bars and juice boxes.

the donuts from Mrs. Claus

Shortcake happened upon her elf cousin in the land.  

Presenting: Fruitcake!  

Santa had to go on an event today.  Shortcake helped him get ready by lintrolling his coat.

While he was wearing the coat.  And taking a photo.    

Shortcake had quite the adventure getting Santa (and Mrs. Claus and Turducken and Ivy) to the elevator so they could exit the employee entrance to get to the NYPD van driven by Officer Tim.  Officer Tim was very patient.  Patches helped empty out parade hallway, and Teddy Bear held the elevator open, and Santa ran down the hallway.  Another successful getaway!

Speaking of Teddy Bear, Shortcake was in the scheduling office with Estrella when Sprig walked in and said (to Estrella), "I love your boyfriend."  To which Shortcake responded "I loved him first!  I've loved him since 2008!"

Luckily, Estrella had a good humor about it.  This story probably makes more sense if you know that Teddy Bear and Estrella are dating.

Peppercorn left early because she felt terrible.  Gingersnap came in early to cover, so Shortcake got to have a wee tiny shift with her!  Yay!  And look what Gingersnap brought!

It's a wonderful sweet story about Santa.

Blissful took over for Shortcake.

She was definitely prepared for the day ahead of her.

And Buddy the elf came to visit!

Fruit and Cheese!

You know what the most important holiday that Santaland celebrates?  Noooooo, it's not Christmas.  Okay, it is Christmas.  You know what the second most important holiday that Santaland celebrates is?

FRUIT AND CHEESE DAY.

Look at all that fruit and cheese!

This was the first fruit and cheese day where Shortcake closed instead of opened.  So she missed the first round of cheese.  Tumbleweed brought pomegranate, and Blissful brought adorable Santa plates.  Shortcake brought oranges and three types of cheese: Manchega, Alp Blossom and Brie.  (The Alp Blossom had edible flowers in the rind.  Shortcake thought the cheese was a little funky, but Santa really liked it.)  Santa brought grapes and swiss and goat cheese with basil and a few more.  Mrs. Claus made spicy goat cheese and sent it to Santaland with Santa, along with crackers - and gluten-free crackers.  Santaland is respectful of food allergies.

Santa had a confession to make.  He told Shortcake that originally, when Fruit and Cheese day started, he didn't like it.  Shortcake started Fruit and Cheese Day as one day when Santa could eat something that was vaguely healthy.  Santaland has a lot of chocolate and candy and cookies around.  Shortcake wanted one day, just one, where the emphasis was on fruit.  And cheese.  And six years ago, Santa felt like he was being pushed to change, forced to be healthier, which was never Shortcake's intention.  And now he looks forward to it every year.

Shortcake walked into this note on the strawboss desk.

A parent left this note with Santa.  No, Batman cannot come to visit your house.  Nor can Taylor Swift.

The other holiday on Tuesday was Hannukah.  The second night of Hannukah, to be precise.  Latke and Jubilee gathered in the scheduling office and lit the menorah.

There was a point in the night where Shortcake needed Happy Feet to be in a place where he was not.  He was being a wall in the wrong direction.  So Shortcake put her hands on his waist and physically moved him.  And then apologized for touching him inappropriately.  Happy Feet laughed it off, and said she hadn't, but Shortcake knows better.  She didn't ask for consent first.  And consent is what matters.

In other news, Shortcake saw this ad on the Subway on her way to work.

That graffiti says "phony stop lying to kids!"  Dear vandalist, what beef do you have with Santa?  He does not lie.  He never promises; he only says he'll do his best.  Shortcake is disappointed in you.

Shortcake's favorite kids that visit Santa are the ones that don't cry, but they don't smile.  They're not convinced that Santaland is actually a place.  Like Sasha in her purple velvet sweat suit.  Her mom (grandma?) took all the photos and was excited to see the elves and Santa and Sasha just looked around holding her naked baby doll like "I don't trust you.  I don't trust this.  I don't believe we are still on planet earth.  Where have you taken me?  Why is this man in red asking me questions?  I PLEAD THE FIFTH."  And it's hilarious.  Best expressions on the kids faces.  THE BEST.

Shortcake ended the night with another Santa train, and Jubilee got to join this time on her first Santa train ever, and she was SO HAPPY.


Whimsy and Pringles and Shortcake and Santa

Tuesday Dec. 12th

Tuesday was a normal day, except we had an explosion of school groups.  At one point, a group of 140 got in line.  ALL THE SCHOOL GROUPS.  Shortcake was actually surprised they waited until the 12th to show up.  Usually, they're a week earlier.


This guy came to visit Shortcake and Gingerbread.  Santaland friends are the best friends.


A German priest visited Santa and brought him a chocolate St. Nicholas.  Appropriate.

Marzipan is a new elf.  No, not that Marzipan you remember from years past.  You know how many humans can be named "Sarah" or "Steve?"  Well, many elf names repeat.  Like Marzipan.  This Marzipan was new to Santaland, so Shortcake had to talk her through the process of how to photo.

And then Shortcake took these photos with Santa.



And Apple Crisp.