SHORTCAKE: We don't have an event today, do we? I don't have to look like an adult?
BLISSFUL: Nope.
SHORTCAKE: Excellent. Jem and the Holograms Beauty and the Beast shirt, here we come.
Have you read Hogfather by Terry Pratchett yet?
Well, you should. Shortcake finished it this week, and it was quite good. It's a Discworld novel, and it's very Terry Pratchett, which makes it delightful and ridiculous, but it's also an examination of belief and what makes us human. And it's Christmas-themed, but not, because they don't have Christmas in Discworld. No, you don't have to read the other Discworld novels. No, it's not a hard book (Although Shortcake did have to look up what "verruca" was. It's a wart. Verruca warts.).
ANYWAY.
Training was Sunday. The strawbosses were in charge for the first year ever. Shortcake put together a syllabus, Cider tweaked it and Patches provided coffee and snacks. We were on the swanky 14th floor. Shortcake handed out a contact sheet (Santa had been asking) and took attendance (because she wanted to and neither Cider nor Blissful minded). Cider did most of the talking. Shortcake told a joke. ("What's brown and sticky? A stick." Santa wasn't amused, but it's one of Shortcake's favorites.) During the practicals section, Shortcake got to pretend to be a child. She did this many times, pretending to be a normal child, a scared child, and a child in a school group. She was very good at it. During the scared child section, she gave Santa side eye like he's never received before.
Oh! Macy's management told Santa about the new reservation system. You HAVE to have a reservation to see Santa this year - no exceptions! You can go to this website: www.macys.com/santaland and make a reservation five days in advance. And you can see all the times available when you go. OR you can go to the store and make a reservation at a kiosk. You can still walk-up, but you have to make a reservation before you enter the train. This is supposed to help keep the line down, so it's not longer than Stroller Alley. So if you get there and the next reservation available is in 3 hours, you can make it, then go get food or shop or pee or go to the 9th floor reindeer pen (no actual reindeer will be represented or involved - Santa keeps his on the roof, duh), and come back happy to stand in a line that hopefully is shorter than an hour. Shortcake made a reservation and she gets to see Santa whenever she wants. So you can do it too.
Cider ended the training by passing this picture around:
He said this picture was the reason we came back every year. Santa provides an escape, a safe space, a place of cheer where everyone is accepted and welcomed. And Shortcake got all teary-eyed just thinking about it. Seriously. Just go read Hogfather. Yes, this is a non sequitur, but it made sense in Shortcake's head, so GO WITH IT.
Then we all traipsed down to the land and joined elf training. Shortcake made sure Santa had practice at all the possible scenarios (shy child, screaming child, school groups, Autistic child, parents with cell phones, reshoots, tall kids, foreign language kids) while Cider kibbitzed in the Santa room and Blissful corralled elves. (Yes, Blissful had been there all day. She played Shortcake's mom in the practicals.) Santa said the strawbosses did a great job at training this year, and Shortcake's chest swelled with pride. 'Course it was mostly Cider and Blissful. Note to Shortcake: Give Cider and Blissful an EARS for training.
Here's the elves Shortcake works with. Look at Cider in that fancy blazer. Look at Ruby with tiny Shenanigans. All these people hold a special place in Shortcake's heart.
During break, Shortcake went to visit the Family Fun Day. There was a jazz trio outside the train. What.
And she ran into these familiar elves while getting her lunch of a McDonald's McFlurry. (No, Shortcake does not make good food choices, but she's #olderthanjesus and an adult and she's working on making better choices, just not right now.)
That's Happy Feet, Estrella and Teddy Bear for those who need a reminder.
We had Employee Preview that evening. Cider was the main strawboss, so Shortcake didn't do much. She wrote her letter to Santa and mailed it.
She did make sure the strawbosses took their yearly photo.
Sigh. This is what happens when you ask Santa to take your photo.
That's Blissful, Cider and Shortcake, although if you needed to be told that, Shortcake questions how long you've been reading the blog. Which is your favorite strawboss photo? Real question. Shortcake can't decide.
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