An Elf Story: Monday, aka the day Cider lost his mind

Yes, Shortcake knows you want to hear about Cider.

But first! Remember the weather strip that Shortcake asked for because the NYFD made her take down the wrapping paper on the back of the emergency exit door?

When she came in on Sunday, this was what she got:

Let's have a closer look, shall we?

Yes, that is gaff tape. Gaff tape is not a weather strip.

When she came in on Monday, this was being installed:

Here, have a close up:

Better than gaff tape, but still not a weather strip. And, fun fact, it now prevents the door from closing all the way, so we tape it shut, with, you guessed it: gaff tape.

Anyway. So, Cider. Shortcake came in Monday afternoon expecting a normal day. And she walked in to Cider wearing a hat. Which he pointed at and said "Strawboss hat!"

There was no other explanation.

Then Cider put the hat on Shortcake's head and said she had to wear it all evening. And then Cider got a call that Santa needed water, and wanted the hat back saying "I have to wear the strawboss hat when I do strawboss things!" Shortcake told him if he wanted the hat, he had to take it. Which he did. And then he ran away.

At this point, it was explained that Cider had Krispy Kreme donuts, cookies and two cups of coffee that day. At which point Shortcake told Santa he was never allowed to bring in Krispy Kreme donuts ever again. Santa defended himself saying it was a birthday treat, and Shortcake told him firmly NO. Never again. (Cider's birthday was Saturday, December 2. He is now #olderthanjesus.)

To prove Shortcake's point, here's video:

Shortcake took things into her own hands. She took the hat off Cider's head, and took the radio and headset off his body. But then Cider wanted to talk to Chance, who was at Main Exit. So he stood close to Shortcake, some might say uncomfortably close, and talked to Chance through Shortcake's mic. (a transcript of the conversation)

CIDER: Cider to Chance.

CHANCE: Go for Chance.

CIDER: Could you go down to Victoria's Secret and start checking people in on the iPad?

CHANCE: Sure thing, boss.

CIDER: No, you know what, go down to KMart across the street. We'll get some good people there.

CHANCE: I could also go to Sephora? I think they have a lot of people that want to see Santa.

Now, Shortcake is very comfortable with Cider as they have worked together for nine years. But if someone was watching this interaction, Cider was definitely invading Shortcake's personal space. Someone, like, say, the HR person sitting in the scheduling office. Do not worry. Cider did not get in trouble with HR because, as stated before, Shortcake did not mind.

Anyway. So then Shortcake went to go to strawboss things, but Cider was bored, so he also did those strawboss things the way he likes to do them instead of how Shortcake does them. They had a standoff on either side of a house, like Shortcake was at the front door of the house, and Cider was at the back door of the house, and they stared at each other across the house while there was a family seeing Santa and then Cider made finger gun gestures at Shortcake and ran away.

Shortcake and Cider did the strawboss things, and then Cider walked off into the Village, and Shortcake happened to also be going that way, so she followed Cider, which then turned into Cider running away from Shortcake and Shortcake chasing him.

Shortcake asked Cider why he didn't just go home and he said "I'm waiting for my son. He's taking the train for the first time ALL BY HIMSELF." Shenanigans is one month old. He was not taking the train all by himself. Ruby was bringing him.

Where was Tumbleweed while all this was happening? Stretching.

Anyway. Ruby finally arrived, and Cider left. But not before Shortcake took these photos:

You'd think it would calm down after Cider left, but nooooooo. Well, it was calm for, like, an hour. Santa and Shortcake talked about the film Get Out which Shortcake had just seen. If you have no seen it, please do so. Well, see it if you are old enough to watch it. Otherwise, wait until you are old enough (Shortcake does not condone seeing films without her parents permission even though she totally watched whatever she wanted after she was 15.). Anyway, Santa and Shortcake agreed it's a fantastic film.

Santa brought in chocolate to share.

Shortcake has been trying not to eat chocolate or baked goods. This is hard for her because she is addicted to sugar. Not like, diagnosed addicted, or goes to meetings addicted, but eats far more sugar than is necessary for life or recommended for nutrition. Remember that cold she had? Well. During the cold she didn't want chocolate or sugar or baked goods, so she went, like, a week without them without realizing it, and then she thought "How long can I go without eating them?" Not as long as she would have liked. Because on Monday, she started eating the Hershey's Kisses. Santa tried to stop her. He literally slapped the chocolate out of her hands. And then chased her down a hallway while she ate one. This wouldn't be a problem is Santa would just bring Shortcake the self discipline she asks for every year.

Earlier in the night, the line was in Parade hallway for inexplicable reasons. We got the line down, and then Dumpling got on headset and wandered around as a "gray flower." A "white flower in training" if you will. Shortcake said he should be a red or green flower. A black flower sounded too dark and sinister.

How about some photos just for fun?

Whimsy and Storybook

Brownie and Periwinkle and Licorice

Oh, here's the annual photo where we see how short Shortcake is in relation to Santa:

That's Apple Crisp with Shortcake and Santa.

Shortcake is literally standing on the magic box, and she barely comes up to their shoulders.

It got slow towards the end of the night, so Shortcake may have leapt through Santa's empty house without saying hi, and he dissolved into giggles.

Santa also got kinda bored, so he started mauling Shortcake's leg. Again, not an HR issue because Shortcake is comfortable with Santa having worked with him for years. He just started swatting at her knee with both hands. Shortcake may have video of this, but it cannot be posted publicly because Santa has a reputation to protect.

The last visit of the night was Willie. Remember Willie? He believes in Santa so hard he comes every year, some weeks every day. And Santaland has embraced him. All the elves come to his visit.