Sunday Dec. 3

Yes, we know.  It's been a week since Shortcake posted, and you, dear reader, are wondering what happened to Shortcake.  Well.  Shortcake works two jobs, and sometimes has a social life, and straight up hasn't had time.  But on this Saturday, Shortcake has very little to do all day, so she's going to sit at her desk, listen to Christmas music, drink her hot tea, watch the snow fall, and blog all about the last week.

The day did not start auspiciously.  Santa was going to sit for a soft open at 8:30am.  Shortcake knew about the soft open, but figured it would be fine if Peppercorn swept in exactly on time to fluff Santa and send him out.  But Peppercorn didn't know about the soft open and had train troubles.  Santa almost went out on his own to stand by Freeze Frame.  It was so cute.  He held his own hand as if he was the strawboss while he walked to the door.  And then Shortcake intercepted before he made it out to the maze.  Peppercorn made it in at 8:45am, but she was, understandably, out of sorts.

The hilarious thing that happened is that Santa did not wear his own pants.  He wore someone else's pants.  And this was more than just a simple switch.  This was a triangle of pants switching.  Santa wore someone else's pants who wore someone else's pants who wore Santa's pants.

Santa's locker got jammed on Saturday night.  Some of the bro elves (you know, Little Star, Jinglesnaps, Dumpling, Frostbite, Snowball, etc) tried to open it with brute force, but it didn't work.  So Santa went back to the North Pole and came back with some tools.  And he reached into his bag and pulled out a tool and jimmied the locker and it didn't open.  So he reached into his bag and grabbed another tool and jimmied the locker and it didn't open.  So he jimmied it again from another angle, and it opened!  All thanks to his elf, Stanley the screwdriver.  Santa was so proud of himself, he stood up straight.  (Santa sometimes stoops over and slouches.)  Shortcake has never seen him so confident and proud.  

During a slow moment, Shortcake went to pull out her markers.  There were seven markers in the box.  Seven.  In a pack of eight.  A marker was missing.  WHERE WAS THE GREEN MARKER?  Santa kept telling Shortcake that Blissful was using it for Santa Bingo, but Shortcake didn't know what Santa Bingo was and also THE GREEN MARKER WAS MISSING.  WHY WAS IT GONE?  WHY WASN'T IT IN ITS PLACE IN THE BOX?

Shortcake's brain might have exploded.

Everything was fine.  Blissful had the marker and brought it back.

Santa gave Shortcake an EARS.  He saw that she was a little short (haha yes Shortcake is short) on Christmas spirit.  She just felt that she had used short (there it is again), demanding sentences with Santa and the elves.  She did not use the word "please" very often.  And Shortcake does not like not being polite.  Santa said he didn't take it that way; he understood it as "Shortcake is very busy right now."  He gave her an EARS "for being an amazing human who works her ass off and does it with Santa humor."

Also, Santa has taken to calling Shortcake "tiny one" because the shelf she puts his water on is above her head.