Orientation

Shortcake had elf orientation today. This meant sitting in a big room with about 2o0 other elves, some managers, some Strawbosses, Mrs. Clause, some puppet theater ushers, some HR people, the train conductor, and Santa. The managers briefed us on the most important parts of working for Santa (1: having Christmas spirit, of which Shortcake has loads, and 2: owning a watch, something Shortcake cannot live without).

It also meant a lot of applauding for people. Working for a corporation means a large meeting where everyone congratulates themselves for not doing anything yet, since the holiday season hasn't even started.

It also means being told what an elf does. An elf:

- makes memories
- loves Christmas
- reaches out to customers
- is an ambassador for Macy's
- wants Christmas to be special
- has a lot of energy
- supports, cares for, respects and encourages her fellow workers
- listens
- strives to be her best every day
- has higher standards than the rest of Macy's associates (Obviously. We work for Santa.)
- is considerate of her fellow workers

Visiting Santa is an interactive experience and the managers want the elves to make an impact during that experience.

Elves will be clocking in (because Santa pays by the hour, dontcha know) using an 8 digit ID instead of a 6 digit ID. This caused consternation amongst the elves until it was pointed out that if we can handle the day after Thanksgiving, we should be able to handle an extra 2 digits.

Santa recited "Twas the Night Before Christmas," and it was delightful. Justin Time, the Santaland Express conductor, also gave a presentation on tickets, the train ride, and various protocols. This may be blasphemous, but Justin Time was much more entertaining.

Macy's made it clear that elves should feel honored to have been selected to be an elf. The 200 of us were chosen out of 800, and we were chosen because we talked about how much we liked Christmas, or Santa, or the tradition of Christmas at Macy's, or whatnot. Shortcake felt a slight consternation at this revelation, because she's fairly positive she did not discuss any of those things. She discussed her schedule. She has admitted on many occasions that she loves her job, as well as the alliteration of the job description "Jolly Holiday Helper." However, she has mixed feelings toward Christmas due to its religious overtones, insistence on arriving before Thanksgiving, a lack of family emphasis for the day itself, and a preference for St. Nick Day on Dec. 6. The phrase that struck her as most out of place was "it is an honor to be an elf." Shortcake will examine, at another time, whether or not it is truly an honor to be an elf, or merely the job she happens to be good at and is content to do.