Sunday, December 18, 2016

Last Sunday Before Christmas

You know how yesterday we expected to get slammed, and then it was cold and snowy and rainy and the line was totally manageable?

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA.

Today it was warm and not snowy or rainy and everyone who didn't come yesterday came today and the line was 3 hours long.  From the beginning of the day, we tried to get ahead of the line in the Village.  It was difficult as three people were out sick (one person was in the ER!) and Santa had three different events today.  Shortcake's ideal schedule was shot to the South Pole.  But then Shortcake strawbossed that dirty snow and made it better and strutted her stuff and had her very own dance party.

However.  There were still moments during the day when Shortcake is needed three places at once and people are talking to her from two directions and the headset is talking, and she's moving quickly with Santa - trying not to ruin Christmas - and she sometimes snaps at elves.  Or even Santa.  She doesn't mean it in a mean way, but more in a short, efficient way.  So she apologized to everyone afterward.  But she didn't feel too bad about because sometimes, not often, but sometimes, Shortcake needs to be a dictator to get her job done.  She always tries to be a benevolent dictator.  Sometimes she fails.

Often the gatekeeper will pass on a special request from a family via a very fancy technology known as the "doorbell."  And often times it will be rung when Santa is already in a house.  So then Shortcake just yells into the universe "He's IN the house!"  It makes her feel better.

Shortcake may have ruined Christmas today.  She went to visit Santa and there was a kid with a lot of questions.  A lot of questions.  Like "What is this present?  Where do you live?  What do you do with this?" And finally the kid left, and Shortcake went to Santa to check his hat and took his hat off his head, and the kid popped back into the house with a question.  "Do you have Thomas?"  Which, of course, Shortcake heard as "Do you have a comet?"  So not only did she not know what he was saying, she felt like she had just been caught in a clandestine pose because she was standing with Santa while he wasn't wearing a hat.  Santa handled it very gracefully and sent the kid on his way, while Shortcake stood there kinda frozen.  After the kid left, Shortcake helped Santa put his hat back on. 

For some reason, Shortcake is not good at remembering the elves' names this year.  She tries to call them by the right name, but then...  She calls someone Trollop.  Which is not an elf name.  Especially when the elf's real name is Toffee.

Remember Spatula? 
She got married today!  To someone she met at Santaland!  And because of that Tumbleweed worked a double today because Peppercorn, Ruby and Gingersnap were all at the wedding.  So Tumbleweed made puppy chow.  Which was delicious.

Remember the TMNT conversation from yesterday?
Santa gave Shortcake a Raphael toy!

Look!  Santa was featured in a Cubs fan's Christmas card!  Go Cubs!

Shortcake's friends came to visit Santa.  Isla was super into it, but Anderson was a little wary.

Santa said something very sweet to Shortcake today.  He said that the love and care the strawbosses show for Santa gets passed on to how he treats the elves and the visitors.  He said everything starts with the strawbosses.

Shortcake's family celebrated Christmas today.  Why, yes,yes, it is a week early.  It's a large family, and this was the only day they could all get together.  So Shortcake called, expecting to spend an hour on the phone talking to each aunt and uncle and cousin.  Instead she talked to an aunt, and two cousins and then got hung up on because the grandkids were opening presents.  As soon you go through puberty, the family doesn't care anymore.  (This is not to imply Shortcake recently went through puberty.  Shortcake went through puberty yeeeeeeears ago.  She is closer to menopause than puberty at this point.)  (Sorry if that broke your bubble.  Shortcake is, in fact, an adult female.  Adult females do, in fact, have menopause.)  It's a harsh world.

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