Shortcake asked Santa for some music, so he gave her Donny Hathaway's greatest hits album. Here's his most famous song. You may recognize it.
And here's this amazing rendition by Patti LaBelle. It's hilarious. So many things go wrong. Just watch.
Remember the flamingo from a few days ago? It has a name now. Han Solo Flamingoooooooooo. Yes, all those 'o's matter.
Shortcake and Cider got into a heated discussion about teleportation. It started when Cider asked Shortcake what she asked Santa for for Christmas. And Shortcake said the same things she always asks for: teleportation and self-discipline. At which point, Cider was like "So you can rob a bank, right?" And Shortcake was affronted that he would even think her capable of that. Shortcake wants to teleport so she can live in her favorite city and work in a different city (where her work is better paid and has more opportunities). At which point Cider said that was a waste of the superpower and dragged her into see Santa for his two cents. Santa also said Shortcake's plan was a waste of teleportation. Shortcake insisted never wanting to rob a bank was evidence of her higher moral standard. At which point Turducken joined the conversation and the house came to a complete standstill over a teleportation argument. (Luckily, it was a slow day.)
Shortcake has a confession. It's not so much a confession. It's a well-known fact, but she's never shared it here before. *deep breath* Shortcake likes Zac Efron. Remember him?
This is when she first fell in love with him.
She is a devoted fan. She sees all of his films (which is devotion, considering the films he's put her through). Here he is again:
She likes him so much, her coworkers from last summer made her this picture:
Yes. Yes, that is Zac Efron riding a velociraptor while defending a castle from zombies. It is EVERTHING.
Anyway. Shortcake wants Zac to come visit Santa. He was in town seeing Hamilton, surely he could stop by Macy's to see the man in red. (Look, if he doesn't want Shortcake to know these things, he shouldn't Instagram them.)
And Santa likes teasing Shortcake about him.
And that is the point of this long Zac Efron story.
Oh! Miss Denise is coming to visit Santaland! Remember Miss Denise? She comes with a school group, and they get individual photos, and they're so well organized and Shortcake may have a friend crush on her and anyway the point is Miss Denise texted Shortcake! *swoon* They are coming in two weeks. Shortcake can't be there, so she told Cider very firmly that he was to take special care of Miss Denise.
Fruit and Cheese Day is Dec. 7th! Mark your calendars!
Let's end on a Christmasy note, shall we? Santa had a visit from an adorable little girl. She was 4, dressed in a red, plaid dress with white tights and sparkly silver, wait for it, sneakers. She was so excited to see Santa. She came in and jumped up and down and said "Hello Santa!" Then she threw her hands in the air and jumped up and down and told Santa what she wanted. When it came time for the photo she said "Cookies! Cookies and SANTA!" and threw her hands in the air. Adorable.
Santa and Shortcake